Audrey, 8 Months

Before Audrey was born, I planned to write something each month about all the wonderful things she was doing. I had seen other blogs that did that, and what a neat idea! But then.... things didn't go exactly as planned.

I took the pictures, but I feared that no one would want to read what I had to write.

Audrey turned 8 months old over the weekend, and I'll get to her 8 month letter, but first we must start at the beginning. I have some catching up to do......
Dear Audrey, today you are one day old. You are so fragile and teeny. I love you so much and I'm terrified I can't take care of all your needs. I don't know why you showed up early, but I fear I have failed you horribly. What went wrong, baby? Try to keep breathing, and let's gain some weight so you can go home with us where you belong.
Dear Audrey, today you are one month old. I'm so glad that you are home with us. I'm also glad that you look just like me because otherwise I might be convinced that the hospital sent us home with the wrong baby. Oh how I struggle to know you, sweetie! I fear that I missed out on those first 2 weeks and may never catch up. I'm doing my best, I promise.

Dear Audrey, today you are 2 months old. What a beautiful little teeny thing you are! We rarely go anywhere since I am so worried about your health. I watch you vigilantly and keep you away from anything that might get you sick. And I'm doing that, baby, as best I can. Your monitor continues to go off, and I have become frightenly used to its sound. I thought I'd never get used to it, and now it's like a weird annoying pet. You are pretty attached to me, and even though I'm glad that you are attached to someone, I struggle to meet all your needs. Keep getting better, baby.

Dear Audrey, today you are 3 months old. This month we discovered you have a bad reaction to the caffeine you are taking to encourage you to breathe and keep your heart beating. I expect when you are older we will understand better how caffeine affects you. We took this picture before your daily medicine hit your system. And then after it did, you screamed the rest of the day. So we took you off the medicine since I couldn't stand to see you so very unhappy all the time. It helped, but your monitor has gone off slightly more than usual. But we watch you so carefully.

Dear Audrey, today you are 4 months old. You are starting to get bigger, finally! We have put you on some acid reflux meds that are helping you to feel better. I'm so sorry it took us so long to figure it out. We love you and we want you to be happy and feel good. Poor little thing, you've been through too much. I wish I could make it better.

Dear Audrey, today you are 5 months old. It is such a joy to watch you interact with the world! I think you are finally starting to feel a teeny bit better. You love watching your sister more than anyone else. She makes you laugh when no one else can. And what a laugh you have! You laugh exactly like Beavis and Butthead. It's hilarious. I'm so glad to hear you laugh, baby.

Dear Audrey, today you are 6 months old. Still on the monitor, but you are making a lot of progress. It no longer goes off hundreds of times a month; now we're just in the double digits. You are so beautiful, little one. I still struggle to know how to best take care of you, but we're doing better! You've taken an interest in toys now, and I love watching you inspect things around you. You grew 2 teeth this month! And this month you fell in love with your doggie, Daisy. She loves you. I love you too, baby.

Dear Audrey, today you are 7 months old. This was a big month, little one. Our friend the monitor left us for good. You are doing so well! And you started sitting up on your own. You have always surprised me with how strong you are. You started eating baby food, which you adore. And this month you went to formula. Keep eating, baby. One of these days you will outgrow your 0-3 month clothes.... This month you became much more tolerant of being away from mommy, which is good for both of us. There's so many people that care about you. And you've become more vocal. You crack me up. If Daddy doesn't immediately acknowledge you when he comes home, you actually yell at him until he does. And he's so glad that you are glad to see him...

Dear Audrey, today you are 8 months old. This month you have been working so hard to crawl, but your knees are just not willing to cooperate yet. Any day now they will! You have learned to eat crackers, but you prefer to use them as bait to coerce the dog to come talk to you. You've gotten more vocal this month. Your little squeals are precious. You've made it to 14 pounds, and we are proud of every single ounce! You've decided that the proper way to have your diaper changed is on your tummy, which is proving to be a challenge. You have a heck of an alligator roll! You think taking a bath with your sister is the most hilarious thing ever. And you've discoverd that taking your sister's toys is fun, too. You are such a different child than you were a few months ago--you're so easy and adaptable and pleasant now! You smile so much. I am thankful for every single smile!

See, we had to start at the beginning. And now I'm all caught up.